An Interpersonal Conflict

During my Junior College days, I was fortunate to be given the opportunity to be in a committee to help facilitate the functioning of the swim team. It was a fulfilling experience for me as I got to learn a lot and also to interact with a lot of people which help me to progress both as an individual and also a team player. However, this unique journey was not one without obstacles.

In the second year of my college years, as we were preparing for our preliminary examinations, one of our committee members, Marvin (not his real name), came to talk to me one day. He told me that he has decided to quit school and move on to pursue a course in a polytechnic as he does not think that he would be able to cope with the coming preliminary examinations and also the “A” levels. I was surprised by his decision and I tried to persuade him to continue to try and finish up the “A” levels and not stop halfway. I pointed out that while it may be difficult, he had many friends around him who could help and also motivate him through this difficult period. However, he told me that he has made up his mind and that he has also already signed up a polytechnic course. He also further reminded me to not let anyone else know about it which I agreed to do so.

Some time later, another of the committee member, Josephine (not her real name), found out about Marvin’s decision and also that I knew about it and had not told any of the other committee members. While she was shocked by Marvin’s decision, she was further angry about me keeping quiet about the issue and confronted me regarding it. I tried to explain to her but she was still angry as she felt that we are a team and also fellow committee members and I should have told her so we could try to help Marvin together. While I understood her point of view, I also felt strongly that I had a responsibility towards Marvin and had to respect his decision as well. As such, with neither of us giving way, it led to communications breakdown.

Fortunately, after a few days, we were able to discuss things more calmly and agreed that we both had our reasons and as such we managed to work out a common ground between us. However, this issue has led me to ponder about whether I could have avoided this communication problem at all. Should I keep my promise to Marvin or should I respond to my commitment to the team and committee?

Why Developing Communication Skills are Important

Developing communication skills are important to me as I believe that communication is an integral and essential part of our lives and it comes in many forms. Some of these include the relatively obvious verbal and written aspect of communications - our body language, listening, our tone, facial expressions etc. These are all some aspects of communications and they contribute to the overall essence of effective communications. For example, during a conversation, if one party consistently show a disinterested body posture or facial expression, he or she may be deemed to be bored and not listening or even rude. This may lead to communication breakdowns despite the fact that the person may actually be listening intently. Furthermore, while we may or may not be conscious of it, we are consistently being judged on how we communicate with others. In the above example, we see that the individual may have been judged to be disinterested or rude due to his body language and facial expression which may not be his or her intent. Personally, I feel that this is sometimes an issue for me as I do have an occasional tendency to do or say what I feel most comfortable then. However, this form of unconscious or impulse response may not be an appropriate one and in the process I may have created a misunderstanding with the people around me. Therefore developing communication skills is important as we are often judged upon, on a personal note, on how we communicate with one another and it could also serve to prevent misunderstandings.

Developing communication skills is also important as it is determining in the outcomes of various actions. Our ability to communicate effectively will enable us to put across messages to others with as little distortion as possible. Thus they would be able to understand our intentions better and this can serve to help us achieve our aims. More importantly, effective communications would enable us to move our audiences into believing or taking our point of view and this could be of particular importance for us especially during a presentation or an interview where our communication skills will have a direct impact on the outcome.

Therefore, while the above factors are not the only factors which make developing communication skills important, I believe that these are the ones which I feel are more important to me.